Am I really the bad guy here?
For about a week straight I’ve been told numerous times by the same person that I’m a horrible person for not making him a priority.
I’m 32 weeks pregnant…my baby is my priority. Any stress that I feel she feels. I literally have someone completely dependent on me for nutrition and emotional support. I tried to get him to understand that and yet he wants to turn everything around on me and make me feel bad.
Maybe it’s because he has never been able to make his own kid a priority in his life that he can’t actually see where I’m coming from at all. Who knows. All I know is that I’m tired of him trying to make me feel bad for making a life for myself.
I gave him a chance. I let him live with me and Jeremy pretty much for free, let him eat our food, be on our cell phone plan and such and he took advantage of the help. He owes me so much money. Normally I wouldn’t care, but that’s money that I can use to help get ready for Harmony.
He said that I was on a “high horse” about helping him which is not the case at all. I honestly just wanted a thank you. I never got a thank you. I wanted him to clean and help us move and neither happened. We even gave him our fucking couch and chair because we wanted a new one. I regret that now. I should have given it to a friend that would have actually appreciated it.
This is where this all gets extremely shitty.
Him and his girlfriend recently broke up. They were a horrible couple. They cheated on each other. I told his ex one day that if she wanted to come and see our new place she could. He blew the fuck up on me like I murdered his kitten in front of his goddamn face. I’ve known the girl for 2 years now. She has baby sat our puppy for us, she has talked to me when I felt really low, she has been nothing but nice to me. He really expected me to just be a bitch to her suddenly because they broke up.
He then goes on about how “depression is a real thing.” I think I blew up a little too much over that statement. Yes, people get depressed. I bet he feels like shit right now but he doesn’t have depression. I’ve suffered from depression since my early teens and I never ever brought attention to it until a few years ago when it started to get really bad. I was alienating my friends and locking myself up. I turned to alcohol and even self harm at times. Everything in my life was fucking perfect, yet I hated to look into the mirror. I saw someone completely different. I was allowing my inner demons to become my outer demons. For someone, especially family, to sit there and say that to me was such a low blow.
He was never there when I needed him during that time. He was too self absorbed in partying and fucking every girl that crossed his path all while I was trying to tell him in the best way I could that I needed help. I was losing control and I had no idea who to turn to because I had alienated everyone I used to depend on.
This morning was the last straw. He sends me a message saying that he wanted to spare me the thought, but he saw where Jeremy had texted his now ex trying to sleep with her a few months ago. The funny thing was that his ex warned Jeremy that he might say something like that just to hurt me because she’s talking to someone new. He knew that is a touchy subject for me. He knew that I would blow up on Jeremy before really figuring out that what he was telling me was complete bullshit.
What REALLY happened was they did text and they were making small talk. Chances are Jeremy said something like “I liked your shirt/hair/whatever” and my brother took it as he wanted to sleep with her.
Anyone who has ever talked or known Jeremy knows that he gives out compliments and comes off as flirty sometimes. It’s something I know about and I’m okay with.
Right after he tells me that I get so upset that my stomach completely tightens up and Jeremy thought he was going to have to take me to the dr again since we just had a contraction scare earlier this week.
So honestly, how the fuck am I the bad person in all this?
I really just don’t see how. I tried caring about his life, but I feel like he honestly needs to take a step back and see for once that his actions have caused his pain in life.
The fact that he has taken advantage of so many people is the exact reason why no one really cares about his problems anymore. When you cry wolf so many times over the same bullshit people stop caring, and when you really need them no one is there.
I have two other brothers though. That sounds terrible, but they’re 5 yrs younger than him and act more mature than him. They don’t start shit with their pregnant sister. They have never taken advantage of my help at all.
I’ve come to realize that I am not the bad person in all this. I’m the grown up in all this. I have a kid growing inside me that is going to depend on me for everything and I don’t have the time or energy to deal with someone who obviously has no want to be in my life.
Sorry for the really long post. If you read it all, thank you.